


Enough

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, Challenge Response, Community: 1-million-words, Community: tv-universe, Episode Tag, Episode: s6e03 After Life, Gen, Party, Past Character Death, Resurrection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-01-01 17:49:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1046765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Buffy tries to adjust to her return</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the1MW prompt, "Listless" and the TV-Universe Quote challenge with the quote:
> 
> "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."  
> — Mae West

Around her the others talked and laughed, so glad to have her back that they didn't even notice her quietness. Well no, Buffy caught a speculative glimpse from Tara out of the corner of her eye and amended her thought. Some of them noticed, but weren't willing to bring it up. And if Tara and Giles were willing to ignore anything strange about her and party with the others, then who was Buffy to argue.

They had ordered a ton of Chinese food - Xander joked that they had cleared the place out - and it was spread all over the living room. It wasn't a party in the streamers and cake sense, which was perfectly fine with Buffy, since those usually involved some kind of zombie apocalypse or whatnot. But it was a party in that there was food, music, and cause to celebrate.

At least, there was cause for the others to celebrate. Buffy still felt as though she had a giant black hole inside of her, gnawing away at her insides every second of the day. She hadn't slept more than a few minutes at a time since her return - it was too painful to dream of that other place - but again, no one was commenting on her reddened eyes or her blank stare. Her silence didn't make the pain go away, and it didn't make their cheerful relief hurt less, but it placed just the tiniest amount of distance between her and their overpowering _joy_.

God she wanted to die all over again.

Part of her was still surprised that she had told Spike. Once she had realized what happened, Buffy had sworn that no one could ever know. But Spike had a way of bringing her worst emotional turmoil to the surface. And despite their dubious past, he had this nasty habit recently of just _listening_ to her, and helping her, and she still wasn't sure what to do about that. But before she had realized what she was doing, the words were tumbling out of her mouth, and suddenly Spike was the only being on the planet who knew what she was going through. And worst – or best – of all, he was probably one of the few beings that might even understand.

The others couldn't know.

"Buffy, here!" Dawn's smile filled her whole face as she handed Buffy a fortune cookie. Automatically, Buffy took it and broke it open. She let the cookie pieces fall onto her plate as she stared listlessly at the small, white piece of paper. At last her brain managed to process the words, and Buffy silently read her fortune.

_"You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough."_


End file.
